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Too Much

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“We expect too much from people,” my mom said. These words are some of the last my mom spoke to me before she died from cancer. From diagnosis to death was a mere four months and I craved more words from her than these. I wanted her to cram in all the words that would cover every pain, every disappointment, and every question for all the days I would be without her. There were not enough words to meet my expectations. I expected to have my mom until she was very old, not until she was a young fifty-eight. We. Expect. Too. Much. Over twenty years later and these words prove to be more than enough. That little word too. It means over, more than enough, noting excess. If I expect someone to be there for me over what I can receive from God than it is too much. If I expect a friend to figure out my problems without seeking wisdom from the scriptures, then I have noted people in-excess of the Word. When I expect someone, anyone other than Jesus to give me...
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Shining Love

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The word of the week is love. I stepped into Alisha’s room this morning to get her ready for school. She was already awake at 6:00 a.m., which is common. As soon as I turned the light on, a giant grin rose on her face. That too is common. “Good morning sunshine,” I greeted her. Her mouth and eyes parted wide, legs and arms shrunk close to her body as her head pushed down and up in the pillow before she released a shriek of joy. “Shhh,” I told her, placing my finger over my mouth to signal ‘quiet’. Louder eruptions beamed. I did not feel amused like her. I walked into the kitchen to check on the coffee brewing. Still not ready, I returned to Sunshine. As soon as I entered the room, her eyes found me, following me around as I tended to her needs. Jeff always says it’s ridiculous how much she loves me. If we are both in the room, she won’t even look at him. “I’m here too Alisha,” he will tell her. He will even stand in front of me to block her view. She'll turn her...
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Gentle the Word of the Week

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Gentle - mild (kind, compassionate, merciful, calm, tranquil), meek (humility, opposed to pride, arrogance), soft, bland, not rough, harsh or severe; as in gentle nature, temper or disposition; a gentle manner, gentle voice Alisha kept reaching for me as I sobbed. Slowly her clenched hand found me, despite cerebral palsy always pushing its way front and center. No, it couldn't stop her from gradually going where she was needed. Entirely absorbed in my brokenness, I didn't notice her attempts to soothe me. My friend, Jacky, did though. Jacky sat across from me also offering a soft ear to the raging pain I was in. Kodey, my son, had been ripped from my life weeks earlier. I sat in Jacky's office at Arbor Hospice desperate to find my way out of the nightmare I was in. "I'm just watching Alisha as you're describing your pain, Stacey. She just has this tender concern for you," she mentioned. I glanced to the left, through a haze of tears, remem...
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Peace, the Word of the Weeks

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The meaning of the word peace is quiet, tranquility; freedom from disturbance. The root word of peace implies to stop or press. I’ve been spending a few weeks on the word peace . Last week I hurried to form my Word of the Week post and then stopped to say aloud, “It’s my word! I can take as long as I want pondering peace .” I mentioned to my friend Tara how funny it was that I tried to rush peace. She said, “Yeah, that’s sort of missing the point isn’t it?” Yes, it is! When I turn my Word of the Week card over (I don’t peak until it’s time to meditate on it), I am astounded how that word shows up all around me. I know I have turned up my awareness, but I also believe the Spirit unveils the word for me to have insight and application. This process is not to be rushed! Out of curiosity, I looked up in the bible to see how many times peace is mentioned. 429 times. Love is only mentioned 310 times. Is this because G...
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Misunderstood Moments

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“Real isn’t how you're made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. ” ~ The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams A blond-haired little girl stood in t...
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The Lady on the Plane

“I’ve never had anyone speak to me like that before. I can’t believe she said that when all was trying to do was help, “I quietly griped to Jeff. We were at the airport preparing to fly home from a restful, celebratory, trip to Florida. Twenty-five years of marriage definitely deserved a little celebrating. Jeff looked puzzled at me as we stood in line at the gate to check our bags.I mumbled, “That lady. She was mean to me. I’ve never had anyone talk to me like that .”  “What lady?” Jeff asked me to explain after we sat down to wait for the plane to start boarding “See that old lady with dark hair, standing next to the tall old man? Well she just bit my head off! I saw her walk briskly up to the gate with her husband and bark at him to get their tickets out. I thought I would ease her anxiety by telling her the plane wasn’t boarding yet and I was merely checking my bag, eyes of hate pierced into me with a snappy ‘ I know that’ . She paused to let the mind-your-o...
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A Moving Story

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"Caleb where is the "For Sale" sign?" I yelled to my ten year old boy who let me know multiple times how much he didn't want to move. The "Sign" making a ten minute debut disappeared as quickly as it went up. "I TOOK IT DOWN BECAUSE WE'RE NOT MOVING!" Caleb unabashedly confessed. "WELL, GET OUT THERE AND PUT IT BACK IN THE GROUND. IT'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY, " I retorted knowing darn well he could care less it wasn't his property. Out he slumped and stomped. I expected him to storm back through the door within a minute, carrying on about his fierce resentment toward me for making him move. Minutes went by and he still hadn't come in. I peered out the front window to see what was taking him. There he was straining to shove the poles back into the dry yard along with help from the red-headed, assertive six year old neighbor girl, Kamrynn. (I know that's how you spell her name because she spelled it on my d...
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